


What is this? | A Drarry Fanfiction

by Hufflepuff_King



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gay, Gay Sex, Good Draco Malfoy, Hogwarts Forbidden Forest, M/M, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Sex, Slash, Smut, Top Harry Potter, Torture, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 12:00:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21299111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hufflepuff_King/pseuds/Hufflepuff_King
Summary: Letters upon letters to hide from everyone. A world of their own.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Kudos: 54





	1. Potions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A heart ignited with the tip of a quil

Harry sat in the great hall at a table, not everyone was there but a few here and there came to read or see their friends from the other houses. Alongside Harry was Ron and Hermione; his two still very close friends. They may not be in the same house but they still adored each other and did everything together. Ron was busy sitting and arguing with Hermione as per usual. Just arguing about silly things to do with magic and spells. The pair really did act like a married couple and it was adorable to Harry. He wasn't paying much attention to them but still chuckled at their behaviour every so often.

He had his nose in the Advanced Potion Making textbook, for only a third-year he had become very knowledgable in the sector and found that in itself something to be proud of. Since the last project they worked on in potions where they were forced into pairs, he seemed really keen on the subject. Harry was already a smart boy who enjoyed reading - not as much as Hermione however - but potions was a new thing he was fixating on.

Hermione and Ron stopped arguing for a few moments, looking at Harry then back at each other. They saw the tug at Harry's lips as he read the book. "Harry?" Ron asked. Harry gave a quiet hum and it took him a few seconds to take his eyes away from the book. It was almost as if the book had an enchantment on it to force those who read it to never stop reading it. 

"What's so amazing about potions? You use to hate it." Ronald questioned. "And Snape teaches it," he added and waited to see what was so amazing about it. 

"I'm just finding all of it really insightful and I would really like to get a good grade in potions. Its a good set of skills to have Ron." Harry replied. Knowledge for a few of the students was key. Mainly the Ravenclaw's but Hufflepuff's could enjoy it too. "You understand Hermione." he turned his eyes onto her and smiled softly. 

"Of course! I'm proud that you are so into learning and reading but even seeing you smiling at the book is a strange sight." Hermione explained; polite as per usual.

Hermione gathered up her books and pulled them to her chest. "Especially since they made you work with Draco. We figured you would now hate potions." she shrugged and slowly stood up, stepping off of the bench to go back to her dorms. 

"Now if you will excuse me I think we should all get some rest." And with that, she and Ron up and left Harry. 

"Goodnight!"

Harry stayed a little while longer. He was the only one there now but didn't continue reading. His arms rested comfortably on top of the potion book. His glasses despite him looking down stayed in perfect position; even if they didn't he wouldn't notice, he was lost in complete thought. 

Working with Draco. He thought it was going to be awful and absolutely hated it at first but slowly grew accustomed to it. You could even go to as far as saying he enjoyed it, he got to know Draco a bit and the pair even shared a laugh while working. Away from that they both hated each other and hated working with one another. Always catching glances to and from, he missed just talking to the other. The project was finished and they went back to no talking and just pure hatred. Harry didn't understand why it upset him so much. 

Thoughts faded out and Harry pushed himself so he was sat up properly; about to leave and go to bed when a figure walked over with a tinge of sadness on their face. "Draco?" he questioned under his breath but Malfoy didn't utter a word; Instead an envelope with Harry's name written on the front was slipped onto the table. Harry looked at the strangely neat and white envelope for a few moments. Although when he looked up Draco was no longer there. A frown formed across his face before tucking the letter into the potions book. 

He would read it later. Not out in the open, that was too risky.

Harry sauntered down the same corridor that had the Hogwarts kitchen and the Hufflepuff common room. His thoughts lingered on the letter. What did it say? Why did Draco give it to him? There was a part of Harry that was too anxiety ridden to want to read it but then again his curiosity would for sure get the better of him. "Why do I care? I should just throw it away, Me and Draco aren't even friends. We should be enemies." He murmured under his breath, trying to deter himself from the blonde-haired boy. It was proving obstinate.

A collection of large barrels is to be found accumulated in a stone niche on the right-hand side of the corridor Harry had walked down. The barrel two from the bottom, middle of the second row, will open if tapped in the rhythm of 'Helga Hufflepuff'. This was installed in place as a security device to stop non-Hufflepuffs entering the Hufflepuff dorm, tapping on the wrong barrel, or tapping the false number of times, results in one of the other lids bursting off and drenching the person in vinegar.

_Tap tap, tap tap tap._

Harry tapped in the precise rhythm before an opening was formed; walking inside, it then closed behind him. It was an earthy passage that led to the rounded, small yet cosy room. It was considerably more low ceilinged than the rest of the castle, giving it that safe feeling. Just as the badger would appreciate. Afterall the badger is their house crest. Colours of the room resembled that of a bee; black and yellow. Such soft yet deadly colours. This was clearly emphasised by the heavily polished honey-coloured wood for the circular tables and doors for the girls' and boys' dormitories. 

Clinging to the book that encompassed a letter he couldn't wait to open, he strolled into the dormitories and waltzed over to the bed he made this morning. Unlike most students, Harry made his bed every single morning. The yellow and black checkered quilt folded neatly around the edges, his pillows flat on the bed. 

As he stood beside the bed he set the book down on the bed and pulled his pillow upright so he could lean against it. Harry climbed on to the bed and crossed his legs; staring at the book that held all the answers he needed answering. It was nerve-racking and it was hard to just reach over, grab the book and read it. 

Scoffing at himself being so pathetic over a simple letter, Harry grabbed it and leaned back. He carefully opened the envelope; trying his best not to tear the paper. 

* * *

_Dear_ _Harry_, 

_Its been a while now since we spoke so I'm writing this letter in hopes to tell you something without people interfering with us. Well, apart from insulting each other and just plain hating on one another we haven't said a word. I must admit I sometimes catch your glances but I may be getting off on the wrong foot. _

_I don't want to treat you like this but I am too afraid of everyone's opinion would be on our friendship. The other Slytherins would most likely shun me and it would be so humiliating. I miss talking and sharing a laugh. We hated it at first but then it just changed. You became the friend I've always wanted. Someone who just listened to me not let me order them about _

_I miss you. I miss us. _

_I have to confess, my hatred for you has evaporated and now I can't stop thinking about you. I would love nothing more than for us to be friends but its forbidden almost. I don't want it to end here as it ended after our potions project. I haven't enjoyed my life as much as I did those two weeks. Potions class is the only thing that brings me back to you. _

_I just want you in my life again. Without hating you anyway. _

_I'm scared you don't feel the same but if you don't. As a good reminder to our memories, I wish for you to burn this letter and our memories with it. If you feel the same way I hope you write back to me and somehow give it to me. I know you are smart enough to figure it out. _

  
_From_ _Malfoy_. 

* * *

When Harry finished reading his face flushed a quiet pink, it felt hot and his lips curled up into a smile. Malfoy wanted to be his friend. He enjoyed being Harry's friend just as much as he did. He couldn't be happier. This was far from what he thought the letter was going to contain and this was even better than he could ever have thought. 

Harry folded the letter back up and pushed it into the envelope. He couldn't wait to write back then have Draco's response. It wasn't the best solution to their friendship but it was better than anything else. It was better than nothing.

He tucked it under his pillow before grabbing a pen and piece of paper; writing a letter back.


	2. Replies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Goodnight Potter."

Ink shifted to words spilling from the apex of Harry's quill. The note became more than just a letter as his heart reached out onto the parchment. He was going to play it cool writing to Draco; like he didn't miss him that much but after the first few words he solely couldn't control himself. He became one with his words and the thought's swirling his brain emerged on the paper. It may be a poor choice on his behalf but he needed this. He couldn't burn the letter Draco gave him. He couldn't break both of their hearts. It had been weeks since he had spoken to Draco properly and Harry yearned for it. 

It seemed like seconds passed by but it was far longer than that. Harry had been writing for ages; this far he could tell by the amount of Hufflepuff's now in the room. A few were asleep and others laid in or on their beds; reading and whatnot. Time wasn't a construct Harry cared about. Especially when nothing bad happened from doing something for so long. He put his heart and soul into this letter and there wasn't a chance he would feel sorry about it. Unless Draco hated it that was. 

_No, Harry, don't think about the negatives. Don't bring yourself down. Draco wants to be your friend._ He thought quietly; a sigh escaping parted lips.

Nonetheless, Harry found a blank envelope and carefully folded the parchment; pushing it into the envelope with a neat _'Draco'_ on the front. A faint smile danced upon his lips as he stared at it. He couldn't wait to give it to the other and had the perfect plan for doing so. For now, however, he would sleep.

Harry tucked the letter into his pillowcase alongside the other to keep them safe from eyes that weren't either his own or Draco's. A small yawn escaped his being and he let himself fall into the bed. It was much comfier than the one in his so-called home and he still appreciated that. He appreciated everything he had at Hogwarts. He was away from harm and neglect. He was loved. 

Green eyes fluttered shut and Harry grew more tired. Every time he tried to take his thoughts away from Draco they found their way back. Like they were supposed to be there. Like he was meant to think of the blonde constantly. Harry slowly sunk into a nice sleep. A peaceful one at that. Even there he couldn't escape Draco's grasp. Not that he was complaining. 

* * *

Draco couldn't believe he had finally done it. After a week of psyching himself up for it, he had given Harry the letter he had written. Draco wasn't the best with words but what he wrote was almost a perfect summary of how he felt about everything. He still hid a little something from Harry. He hid how strongly he felt for him. However, this was because he himself didn't understand it. It scared him but it also made him feel somewhat at home. As if Harry was his home. 

Selfish. The emotion Draco constantly felt. Letting being a Slytherin be more important than what he felt for Harry. He was also scared of getting hurt. Not by Harry or a fellow Slytherin but by Lucius. No one knew the abuse he endured at home and he figured no one ever would. No one would understand what it was like. Which is where he was dreadfully wrong. 

He was afraid that he would never hear from Harry again, that the other would burn all happiness the pair had shared. With Harry was the only time Draco felt genuine happiness and didn't want to lose that. He refused to. His only wish that was one day he could prove to Harry he was sorry and that he could show him off. This didn't sound like any normal friendship but Draco knew that. He just didn't know what to call it.

Malfoy shook his head and closed his eyes. He would know tomorrow whether he and Harry would rekindle the friendship or not. For now, he was going to just have to sleep it all away. He hated sleeping, he prefered to think and keep the thoughts and memories of not being at Hogwarts at bay.

WIth green eyes and brown hair being his last thoughts awake Draco whispered something so quiet he couldn't even hear it himself.

"Goodnight, Potter."


	3. Herbology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lesson once so interesting faded behind the beauty of blue eyes.

Morning arose and passed. Harry clung to his letter in his cloak and refused to set it down, he was waiting for the perfect moment to pass it to Draco and now wasn't then. He was a little afraid to do it but also excited so many ways to do it; some risky others not so much. During breakfast the pair kept looking at each other; every time they did the other one wasn't looking so eyes never met. Neither understood what they were doing and all they knew was that keeping it a secret they must. It would end badly if they didn't.

No matter how much Harry longed to talk to Draco face to face he couldn't. He didn't want to cause Draco more harm than good by getting fellow Slytherin's hate him. With a sigh, Harry shook his head and stood from his seat; heading to herbology. 

Ron and Hermione shared glances in confusion. "Harry's acting so weird the past couple weeks, ever since potions with Malfoy. I think we should be cautious. I think he did something to our Harry." Hermione whispered, staring at Draco with anger in her eyes. 

"I think thats a bit too far Hermione" Ron chuckled, finding her actions stupid. Her look instantly shut him up though. It always did. She kind of had that affect him. He wouldn't admit it but she really was scary to him at times which was quite funny to Harry. Draco, on the other hand, was listening in to their conversation to try and see if he could get anything from them about Harry. He wanted to know everything.

It was time for everyone to go to lessons and they did, all standing and heading to the different lessons they had. Some went to potions, other defence against the dark arts and every other lesson there was in Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. Harry, Ron, Hermione and Draco, as well as other students, were in herbology, this was one of Harry's favourite things to learn about before Draco changed that for him. He changed it forever.

Pomona Sprout was busy talking and helping those who struggled with what they were learning about while those who were confident in the field got on with their work. Harry; although it not being his favourite anymore still managed to remember what he learnt from all the advanced reading he had done months ago and applied it to the work he was going through. All the while planning on giving the letter to Draco. He was going to do it before Herbology was finished. That he knew. He just wanted to get his nerves to vanquish so he couldn't convince himself out of it.

With hesitance, Harry stood from his seat and looked towards Draco. He had it all planned out in his head and hopefully, it worked out the way he wished it would. 

Harry took the letter discreetly out of his pocket and walked over to Draco; bumping into him rather roughly. It caused the pair to fall and Draco's books to fall with them. It was clearly a bad move on Harry's part as he could see the pain in Draco's eyes. It had caused him more pain than it did Harry which was shocking. Draco must have hurt himself somehow before this aswell. Thinking this caused extreme quilt to flutter around Harry's chest. 

Nonetheless, he slipped the letter into a book of Draco's before standing. He brushed himself off and even though he wanted to he didn't help Draco up as well. Simply walking off to finish up his work. He still enjoyed herbology but Draco's eyes were more interesting.

Harry's words were found only a few hours later and Draco didn't waste any time to read them. Fear and excitement marbling together within him.

* * *

_Dear Draco,_

_I have a small confession. Forgive this pouring of my heart, but I simply can't contain it._

_I cherish potions class, where we first met in a new light. The moment I locked eyes on yours, I saw that instead of darkness there is a kindness in there. I knew you were going to be an amazing friend. Yet I was also scared of losing that, I was scared of you sinking back into your old ways; hating me without knowing me. _

_I even thought I had during the past few weeks which devastated and weakened me. That was until I read the letter you gave me this evening. Well, last night by the time you will be reading this. I may be writing a lot but I feel the need to express as much as I can in the words I write. I can't speak to you in person and yet it seems easier to say the words I need to say on this parchment._

I_ miss you._

_I know you said you missed me too and that honestly brought a smile to my face. I couldn't ever burn this. I can't believe you would have thought I wanted nothing to do with you as it is truly the opposite of that. I want to be your friend and you, my friend. I want us to no longer show hatred but I also know that we cannot do so. It upsets me and I can tell it upsets you but its okay Draco, I understand. _

_I have to say though, I am quite excited about all this secret letter writing but first and I will understand if you don't I want to see and talk to you in person. I just want to know it is all real. My heart races as I write to you and I feel as if it is going to fall out my chest at any burning moment._

_Please, if you want this to all be true. If you want this and all that comes with it; I will be by the lake in the forbidden forest just after dinner. I will wait for an hour and if you don't show I will know my answer._

_Cordially, Harry. _

* * *

Draco read through the letter in the Slytherin common room, not as scared to read it out in the open as he knew others wouldn't dare to read it. Most were too afraid to interrupt him. There were only a few others as it was there free period, just like it was Draco's free period. He felt too much emotion coming over him to hide it so quickly stood; walking quickly towards the boys' bathroom.

He continued to read while there, smiling at the words. He didn't even care about the pain in his side anymore now seeing the words Harry wrote. Somehow they made his heart flutter. Someone actually cared about him. Someone wanted him. It was more than he could ask for. He didn't think Harry was going to write back.

That wasn't to say he was complaining.


	4. In Harmony.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theres nothing better than this moment.

There was a pathetic mist to the air; weakly pulling its way across the sky. It made the blue clouds of the night seem even darker than they were. A facade much like a young blonde boy himself. Such mist danced in rhythm with the wind across the lake like forbidden lovers of the night. Tall, overhanging trees shared the light and illuminated their presence onto the water. Such wholesome things; trying their hardest to hide the lovers.

Silence. Pitter patter of peaceful paws, claws and other alike, rustling of leaves as they brushed against each other in an attempt to hold hands. A cold ghost pushed its way through the forest; finding warm bodies to blow its frosty breath upon. 

Silence was never silent, it was loud to those who listened. 

Pale hands came together and rubbed against one another in stiff, agonising movements in attempts to keep warm against the cold breath of the ghost. Rushed thoughts and excited feet made it difficult to remember such simple things like gloves. Harry would never normally be in such a rush, he prefered to make sure everything was done and he had what he needed. He may get him and his friends in trouble a lot but that wasn't done without order. Most of the time.

Hermione and Ron were keeping a very close eye on their beloved friend, wanting to know what was going on and what Draco was doing to him. If he was doing anything that was, of course, they were just going off on assumptions but to them, they were doing the right thing. Ron seemed rather upset about the whole ordeal like he wanted Harry to pay attention to them. Or was it to him? 

On the other hand, Hermione just cared about protecting Harry and was worried, also angry. She wouldn't let Draco lay a hand on her best friend. Not on her watch.

Being a Hufflepuff; you would think Harry would have to be honest and truthful to his friends but Potter had Draco to take into consideration, he was a friend too even if no one knew. Draco was better than that in fact, somehow he was closer and more important. Far more real than anyone else here at Hogwarts and Harry loved that about him.

Worn down shoes faded into the darkness of the forest floor, tired and sick as the paint chipped away from them. They were much similar to Malfoy and Potter. Tired. Worn. Used and close to falling apart, however, kept together by a small bond. It was peaceful in the night, echos of leaves and twigs crunching under footsteps weren't enough to disturb creatures asleep and creatures awake. Yet enough to spark interest, for nobody knew what the outcome would be. 

_Oh god what have I done, I'm just going to be sat here in the freezing cold for hours. He doesn't care, he isn't going to come. Just like Vernon said; nobody cares, not even your so-called friends. I'm so pathetic- No no, stop. It's not true, Ron cares. Hermione cares. Draco cares._

Harry was filled with anxiety about the whole thing, his footsteps seeming to change and the peaceful aura seemingly changed to a more panic-filled one; him picking up his pace. Harry was usually laid back and quite the happy chap but when he gets lost in his head it becomes a very dark place. Memories, anxiety and doubt; a concoction of pure sadness and pain. One Harry would not be able to escape without the presence of others. For only three people could take him away. Draco did so the best. 

Emotion. God was pretty fucked up if he was real to give such pain to wizards, witches and muggles alike. Sure, happiness, love and all the good stuff was great but anxiety, fear, sadness was just a load of crap. There was more bad than good for most people and it was so unwanted. No one wanted to be sad but any little thing that happened caused sadness to fill them, it was so draining and painful. 

Passing two trees and stepping over a few roots that stuck out, Harry made it to the lake. 

Draco, on the other hand, got there earlier than the time Harry had given him. He wanted to be prepared in the place that they would be. Fear and excitement swirled together in perfect harmony. As soon as he read the letter he knew he would be here. He had to do a little of tweaking and hiding but he got there; unseen and unheard. score one for Malfoy. 

This was against his father's rules. Friending a Potter, but Harry had been nicer to him in a week than Lucius had been during his whole life. Happiness and smiles were what he gained from hanging out with Harry. Not bloodshed, nor heartbreak so why shouldn't he?

Sitting by the dark waters edge, Draco had his knees up to his chest in a loose manner as he watched the ghost step lightly onto the water every now and then; scared of drowning. Water. The way it flowed freely with the wind, it was free made Draco so envious of it. He wished to be free; so carefree. It seemed like a dream compared to the lie he was forced to live. 

Harry couldn't believe his eyes as they fell onto Draco's small yet tall frame, the moonlight catching his hair in perfect shades of yellow and gold, it shining on him as if it was a spotlight; like Draco was the main event. But he was, in Harry's eyes that was. He was so perfect, so amazing, so...

Enchanting. 

Upon hearing footsteps and sensing a presence, Draco's head turned slowly; fearing what it could be as he was in a forest after all. Relief. It was only Harry. Yet, it wasn't only Harry, it was his friend, his only friend. A friend he was glad to see. A weight on his chest seemed to fade away as his eyes watched Harry come closer and closer. He wasn't alone in this cruel world and he was going to try his best to keep it that way. He wasn't used to friendships but was going to try.

Harry smiled softly and slowly walked over to Draco, carefully sitting down beside him, he did it in an awkward angle but it minimised the pain. It was definitely confusing as to why he got down like that but thankfully for Harry, no questions were asked. 

"I'm glad you came," Harry spoke softly to the other, a smile never failing to leave his lips. He wrapped his arms around himself, glancing over to Draco to see that the man was much smarter than himself. He had actually wrapped up to keep warm. Cheeks tinted pink in embarrassment, he felt so silly for getting so excited he forgot about the ghost that lingered around this time of year.

Draco's eyes turned back to the lake as a small smile played across his lips. A rare sight from this boy. Some in other houses said and believed that Draco never genuinely smiled at anything. Which Harry could say was not true. "I couldn't ever miss this opportunity." He whispered, glancing to the other as he did. 

The pair sat there and spoke about their memories of each other and of their lives. Them both still hiding from the other how their life truly was. How they both were truly so much alike. Of course, they couldn't tell one another. Fear was holding them captive in ropes made of steel. As much as they wanted to break free it was too strong of a hold. They spoke of times that they thought of each other and the meaning behind the words they wrote. Telling one another how happy it made them. 

For Draco, he felt so much less alone in this moment. He somehow felt complete and that was a feeling he felt no one could ever replace. He wanted to sit here with Harry forever. He didn't want to go back to Crab or Goyle. He didn't want to go back to any of those people. He didn't want to go back being so mean and harsh to the one person he truly cared about. He definitely didn't want to go back home. Yet he knew, once morning arose, life would be reset. 

On the other side, Harry was prepared for it. He knew at this moment everything was perfect but tomorrow, life would be awful. Holidays would soon arise so this must end too. All things happy came to an end with Harry. Then again more moments like this one would surely come around, he hoped anyway. Now, knowing this moment Harry couldn't have Draco an enemy ever again. He felt like they were meant for this. He no longer felt like there was something missing from his chest. 

Harry chose to lay back into the grass, his arms behind his back as he tried to hide how the bitter air attacked him. It was freezing out here but he didn't want to leave until wither Draco decided to or he physically had to. The same went for Draco. 

Blonde looked back to Harry with a warmth in his eyes, he could tell the other was cold and it caused Draco to want to hold him tight and warm him up. Was that something a friend could do? He had no idea but he had seen people hug and lay with one another before so surely it was fine? With that thought process, Draco laid beside the other; resting his head upon Harry's chest and hugging him tightly. 

It hurt them both but they were happy so like that they stayed. Happiness overrides pain. The action scared Harry slightly as he flinched but he warmed up into it and let his eyes fall shut as the warmth took him. He only ever had two friends and he hugged them. Was this any different? if so then...

What is this?


End file.
